life's mean reds.

when self pitying, navel gazing and rants that scream for attention prove to be the easier option for yourself but the more painful one for others around you. and if only words which cause hurt could also be used to make up for all that in that consequential moment.

notting hill was one of those classics that i never got about watching, so when i finally did, the reason behind its popularity dawned upon me. it's simple. it shows the perhaps almost never. almost never that a movie star runs straight into you, let alone your heart at the next instant. almost never that she plants that kiss on you which grows into a love so fantastical that it's almost laughable. almost never that pride is lowered like this in the name of love. almost never that a guy treats a girl so precious, almost afraid that that very moment with her was the last. the almost never which leaves you wishing and wanting that it's mostly ever.

every morning an endless battle ensues within me. the gravitational force that's tugging at me back into bed and the equally strong urgency derived from a pile of never ending work that's making me move towards my breakfast drawer. usually the one that requires me to travel the shortest distance ends up victorious. the bed of cos, which goes without saying. unless the force on the other end is simply too great a draw- a growling stomach maybe, but almost all the time, it's about work that's loading as if each piece were under the influence of gravity and the only way it could go is down onto me. sometimes i wish both forces work in the same direction.

there are days im simply struck by the ironies in Christianity.to worship is quite simply to treat God as God.but when im again reminded of the immensity of God, perhaps it isnt an easy task either.what is it to know that God is god and i am not? what is it to worship the only one worthy of my worship, but yet that very same one whom im not worthy to worship?

just the first week of school and i already have to do an a0 presentation pinup board and an a4poster and letter to a dead architect telling him how much i would love for him to come stay in my neighbourhood. a pretty freaky thought honestly. it's 6am and im just glad im done. of cos my room looks perfect as usual.sigh. okay back to preparing my speech for tmr's presentation. im pretty sure my brain would be too dead tmr to work the right way anyway.