life's mean reds.

i speak before i think, but really what that reveals is the person i am inside. the thoughts and desires are all too apparent. i want recognition, i want people to look at me w envy at my skill and what I have, I want things that I know are wrong to want but i still want them. but the heart cant hide forever. it comes out at the most unopportune time and i end up hurting the ones i love the most. oh wait, maybe not, cos i really love myself the most, which.. really means i hurt those i cant love as much as i love me. :(

one of those moments when i get distracted from the task at hand, oh the joys of the internet. i dont know what catches my eye more, the light, the subtle suggestions of melting shadows, or an unadulterated expression of love, that comfortable lingering silence in company?

Instead of waiting for the perfect one, work at being the perfect one instead. These words roll off the tongue with ease like a familiar jingle. Yet the former holds an appeal tt the latter can never achieve.could it be, that at the end of the day, we are, in fact, more aware of reality than we realise? The former, perhaps, more achievable than the latter?

Perhaps its age talking, but the smallest thing that I used to take for granted of now brings one of the greatest joys of the day. And as I saunter to school with the brilliant azure sky before me,I thank God for another day of which he showed me his limitless love.

A long read, but a timely one, when life threatens to go out of control. The selfish side of me wishes this never caught my eye but God certainly has his sense of humor; his timing, like they say, is beautiful and I chuckle to myself as the true reality dawns in these waking hours. There couldn't been a more apt way to start the day.:) 10 tips for faithful sleep-deprived living http://www.matthiasmedia.com.au/briefing/library/6089 / 10 tips for faithful sleep-deprived living JENNIE BADDELEY / BRIEFING #388 / JANUARY 2011 / SHARETHIS Sleep is one of God's good gifts. Most of us chug though life without thinking much about it, which is usually a sign that we're getting enough. But for some of us, that blissful enjoyment of the half-regarded treasure we know as a ‘good night's sleep’ is shattered for some reason. The effects of sleep deprivation are substantial. A lack of sleep overshadows all aspects of our lives, including how we go about seeking to follow and...

so this caught my eye from the red center during studios today. The question of religion and God certainly never fails to draw the crowds: from a question of God's existence, one is defined.yet through it, I'm amazed yet again of how self absorbed humans can be. In our pursuit to find out who we are, theists, atheists, or nihilists, we got the order so wrong. For is the conclusion to this question even one tt is up to our disgression, or should it be that whoever we claim to be is inconsequential, for the question is really an answer that has to be accepted nonetheless..?

its been forever since i last blogged. i almost forgot how good that felt; to be heard for that split second, only to be overwhelmed so quickly by the vastness of the space, so large that the initial expressions fade into nothingness.

all things in me call for my rejection, all things in you plead for my acceptance. to the cross, i cling. no fear in the unknown future, simply because unknown does not equate to uncertainty. life is simple, when you have known death the beginning is easy to accept when the end is clear. things will only get better.

the rainy days are particularly great at keeping the spirits grey, and when all you have is coffee, literally a black hole that threatens to consume one inadvertently, the word depressing is simply an understatement. or perhaps it was chancing upon a realisation that i had secretly hoped will not come to fruition that made a stone out of my already worn out heart. and just when it all seemed all too dismal, it was when the soothing line gave my heart a reason to leap again. "..and i realised how beautiful you are and how great your affections are for me.." love in all its repetition, love in all its assurance, and love, that makes me want no more.

他说，如果人生拥有一件一定要守住的东西，是十分的幸福。

为何对于我越心疼的人特别的刻薄? Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

错过的时光实在难以挽回，太勉强的话就显得特别的难堪。一个人的自尊心就是如此的难以放下吗?但为了不想放弃的幸福而硬着头皮纠缠下去--这，是允许了自私心为所欲为，不是吗? 自尊，自私; 人类还真是无可救药。 Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

so easter is here again, and its my 23rd year of celebrating it. certainly, jesus rising from the death is everything to me, yet how often does one live, understanding how undeserving he or she is of all of this? and how often does one live, realising that all this undeserved-ness counts for nothing when jesus turned what was unforgiveable to what is now forgiveable on the cross? grace, that's what it is.

we sit in silence before the television, willing time away. i wished there was more that i could do than mere small talk, the barrier of language ceasing to exist.

随着时间的流逝， 我渐渐地发觉，原来， 能让我心碎的事也越来越多 。心头上有太多顾虑的时候，爱情不再拥有它往日的光彩--仿佛若太在意它的话，就是允许人生包含如此的奢侈。 对自己太刻薄了吗--还是，这就是成长过程的象征？

拥有与享受是否得相提并论？

I've always loved sunrises, and waking up to one on e other hemisphere just makes me realise the beauty n coherence this world was intended for,in the beginning. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

when friends know what just the thing to say before your wandering heart can even nail the problem down. all i need is a little perspective, the frame that makes this crazy world seem a tad bit more sensible and meaningful. Surrender All Take all I am, Lord, and all that I cling to You are my Savior I owe everything to Take all the treasures that lie in my storehouse They cannot follow when I enter Your house So I surrender all to You I surrender all Take all my cravings for vain recognition Fleshly indulgence and worldly ambition I want so much Lord to make You the focus To serve You in secret and never be noticed Take all my hunger for all that’s forbidden Every desire and sin I keep hidden Search me and know me I want to bring to You A life that is holy and sanctified through You

It's been a while since I blogged,well expected really,considering all e work that has been thrown at us since e start of e sem. But its in times like this that I see with different eyes.landscapes and scenes that I would have otherwise taken for granted of now become a moment's refuge; his hand, I see in all. And for that fleeting moment, I could almost savour the assurance gleaned from being part of this world, lovingly cradled in ever secure hands. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Drowning in a sea of self pity. Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7