so they say. (it's lunchtime so im not slacking okay.)
How to Stay Awake at Work
1. Coca Cola
2. Orange juice works just as well
3. Find ways to bypass company e-mail/internet security
(call it Internal Security Testing)
4. Google your name
5. Have your 5'2, 95 lbs, female friend go beat up people who are "sharing" your name on google without having begged for your exhalted permission (:
6. Try eating sunflower seeds still in the husk. Put a small handful in your cheek and crack them open one at a time, using only your teeth and tongue. This will require just enough active thought and tongue movement to prevent you from dozing off, and the salt of the sunflower seeds is invigorating and stimulating.
Just be careful where you spit after that.
7. Try these tricks:
7.1 The Paper Clip Chain
Everyone who works in an office has made a paper clip chain. It keeps our hands busy while our minds wander. But the key here isn't the chain itself. It's what you do with it.
You could fashion jewelry out of it-necklaces and bracelets, maybe even a pair of earrings-but then it would be obvious to your boss and coworkers that you aren't actually working.
Instead, hide the paper clips under a piece of paper while you hook them together. Make the chain as long as you can. When the person in the next cubicle gets up to go to the bathroom, replace all of his paper clips with the chain you just made. Then all you have to do is wait until he tries to grab one.
7.2 The Taped Drawers
If you've already done the paper clip trick, you might want to try this one out on a different coworker. As soon as someone leaves a cubicle unattended, make sure no one is looking, then make a beeline for the desk. Choose a desk drawer and place three pieces of transparent tape around the edges of it. Be careful not to use long pieces of tape. Otherwise, they'll be seen. When your coworker returns, watch as she tries to figure out how her drawer got jammed.
7.3 The Tech Team
When you get tired of messing with individual coworkers, you can waste at least a couple hours bugging the tech team. Make a list of everything that's wrong with your computer, then call the tech department and read the list to them. Act like it's the most important thing they could do all day. When one of them stops by to check out the situation, ask how to hook up the DSL on your home computer.
This works especially well if you have a friend in the tech department who will play along.
7.4 The Shredder
If your boss frowns on practical jokes and you're still having a hard time focusing, you could always run the shredding machine. Grab everything you have that can be shredded, then stop at everyone else's desks and ask if they have anything that needs to go. After you've gathered everything you can, feed all the papers into the shredder. Take your time. The longer you move around, the more alert you will become.
8.when all else fails, forget it. take a nap but be smart about it (:
8.1 Short-sighted method
Your head supports the screen whilst your hand rests on the mouse - this demonstrates a deep commitment to your work.
8.2 Philosopher method
Rest your head on your hand. This position suggests that you are tackling an issue, which might be crucial to the existance of the company.
8.3 Lifter method
In this position, your inertly hanging hand suggests that you are trying to reach for a pen. Might look slightly suspicious if used longer than a minute.
How to Stay Awake at Work
1. Coca Cola
2. Orange juice works just as well
3. Find ways to bypass company e-mail/internet security
(call it Internal Security Testing)
4. Google your name
5. Have your 5'2, 95 lbs, female friend go beat up people who are "sharing" your name on google without having begged for your exhalted permission (:
6. Try eating sunflower seeds still in the husk. Put a small handful in your cheek and crack them open one at a time, using only your teeth and tongue. This will require just enough active thought and tongue movement to prevent you from dozing off, and the salt of the sunflower seeds is invigorating and stimulating.
Just be careful where you spit after that.
7. Try these tricks:
7.1 The Paper Clip Chain
Everyone who works in an office has made a paper clip chain. It keeps our hands busy while our minds wander. But the key here isn't the chain itself. It's what you do with it.
You could fashion jewelry out of it-necklaces and bracelets, maybe even a pair of earrings-but then it would be obvious to your boss and coworkers that you aren't actually working.
Instead, hide the paper clips under a piece of paper while you hook them together. Make the chain as long as you can. When the person in the next cubicle gets up to go to the bathroom, replace all of his paper clips with the chain you just made. Then all you have to do is wait until he tries to grab one.
7.2 The Taped Drawers
If you've already done the paper clip trick, you might want to try this one out on a different coworker. As soon as someone leaves a cubicle unattended, make sure no one is looking, then make a beeline for the desk. Choose a desk drawer and place three pieces of transparent tape around the edges of it. Be careful not to use long pieces of tape. Otherwise, they'll be seen. When your coworker returns, watch as she tries to figure out how her drawer got jammed.
7.3 The Tech Team
When you get tired of messing with individual coworkers, you can waste at least a couple hours bugging the tech team. Make a list of everything that's wrong with your computer, then call the tech department and read the list to them. Act like it's the most important thing they could do all day. When one of them stops by to check out the situation, ask how to hook up the DSL on your home computer.
This works especially well if you have a friend in the tech department who will play along.
7.4 The Shredder
If your boss frowns on practical jokes and you're still having a hard time focusing, you could always run the shredding machine. Grab everything you have that can be shredded, then stop at everyone else's desks and ask if they have anything that needs to go. After you've gathered everything you can, feed all the papers into the shredder. Take your time. The longer you move around, the more alert you will become.
8.when all else fails, forget it. take a nap but be smart about it (:
8.1 Short-sighted method
Your head supports the screen whilst your hand rests on the mouse - this demonstrates a deep commitment to your work.
8.2 Philosopher method
Rest your head on your hand. This position suggests that you are tackling an issue, which might be crucial to the existance of the company.
8.3 Lifter method
In this position, your inertly hanging hand suggests that you are trying to reach for a pen. Might look slightly suspicious if used longer than a minute.
Comments