the binge blogger is back.well, can't blame me, it's just how my mind works.sometimes i just have all these ideas and little things in life coming at me but somehow, i cant put the exact words to my feelings. either that or the lazy bug in me just prefers staring at the computer screen watching jdramas than moving my brain or fingers to blog.ha.it's really just inertia.(as i already mentioned before.)
but recently i realised that sometimes it's more than just that. sometimes, i forget what's on my mind. many times actually. there are times when many thoughts overwhelm me and when i try to figure one out by putting it down in words in my mind, the other thought just happily flits by. no matter how hard i try to grasp onto it before it flies away(while figuring out the other), i just dont have enough to hold onto it without forgetting a little of what ive been figuring out for the past while.then eventually my mind becomes a jumbled mess of thoughts, so tangled that it sometimes suffocates me(and gives me a splitting headache) so i cant be bothered to give it much extra thought anymore.
but sometimes, it just annoys me to the extremes when a thought that i feel so much for just slips past me like that.it's this niggling feeling that the answer is so near but no one and nothing can tell you what it is. and because i cant rest at that, i search and search, but most of the time, all i end up with is just more and more stuff i make up, but never the original one.and then i will feel even more annoyed and frustrated than before. to quote cecelia ahern, it's the feeling of knowing something is missing in your life but not being able to find it no matter how hard you look.it's like suddenly not remembering the words to your favourite song that you knew off heart(trust me, this is even more irritating than having a song stuck in your head all day) and it's like suddenly forgetting the name of someone you know really well and see everyday, or the name of a group that sang a famous song.
you get my point. sometimes, it's just so painful to go through the whole process of thinking and forgetting that im just through with thinking all together. but then again, i cant just tell my mind to stop thinking can i? it's always so restless, with or without missing thoughts. it's like knowing that my mind's too tiny to hold too many big ideas, but at the end of the day it still jumps into the deep abyss hoping that one day i can find those ideas i'd lost, one day i can grab onto as many ideas as they come but still not forget any.
ha, makes me think that it's like love. knowing that hurt and frustration is bound to come but yet still searching for it.
why?
i guess it's just all for the simple reason that without it, there's just something missing that we wont be satisfied about.
but recently i realised that sometimes it's more than just that. sometimes, i forget what's on my mind. many times actually. there are times when many thoughts overwhelm me and when i try to figure one out by putting it down in words in my mind, the other thought just happily flits by. no matter how hard i try to grasp onto it before it flies away(while figuring out the other), i just dont have enough to hold onto it without forgetting a little of what ive been figuring out for the past while.then eventually my mind becomes a jumbled mess of thoughts, so tangled that it sometimes suffocates me(and gives me a splitting headache) so i cant be bothered to give it much extra thought anymore.
but sometimes, it just annoys me to the extremes when a thought that i feel so much for just slips past me like that.it's this niggling feeling that the answer is so near but no one and nothing can tell you what it is. and because i cant rest at that, i search and search, but most of the time, all i end up with is just more and more stuff i make up, but never the original one.and then i will feel even more annoyed and frustrated than before. to quote cecelia ahern, it's the feeling of knowing something is missing in your life but not being able to find it no matter how hard you look.it's like suddenly not remembering the words to your favourite song that you knew off heart(trust me, this is even more irritating than having a song stuck in your head all day) and it's like suddenly forgetting the name of someone you know really well and see everyday, or the name of a group that sang a famous song.
you get my point. sometimes, it's just so painful to go through the whole process of thinking and forgetting that im just through with thinking all together. but then again, i cant just tell my mind to stop thinking can i? it's always so restless, with or without missing thoughts. it's like knowing that my mind's too tiny to hold too many big ideas, but at the end of the day it still jumps into the deep abyss hoping that one day i can find those ideas i'd lost, one day i can grab onto as many ideas as they come but still not forget any.
ha, makes me think that it's like love. knowing that hurt and frustration is bound to come but yet still searching for it.
why?
i guess it's just all for the simple reason that without it, there's just something missing that we wont be satisfied about.
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