yes im finally back.and have finally got past my procrasination to write about this wonderful trip. talking about laziness,i found someone who 7 years my senior but is as lazy as i am and totally understands what i mean when i say that i just dont feel like moving or get anything done!:)i need to get her to talk to my mum who thinks im going to rot overseas in future. but back to the point:) imagine nights bathing in cold water when it's already freezing outside, (or sometimes having no water at all), the bumpy(and i mean BUMPY) bus rides up ranikort and the consequent bruises i suffered, the night i slept without dinner, or working without breakfast the next morning, the toilets that can only flush once every two days, roads that you are better off crossing with your eyes closed and... yes, i have much more to whine about. ha. but well, despite all of that, it was perhaps the time in this entire year that i felt was the most well-spent.
not that i had made that much of a difference during my stay there.(though i was quite a bit of a star when i was there which i will mention later:P) but well, simply because i have gleaned so much from this trip. i think i can rattle on and on forever and by the time im done, the only one who can understand this post is myself.so,to spare everyone the agony,i shall attempt to sum it all up in my list of top ten moments to remember, lest i suffer from amnesia(which i realise that i often do:P)but because the lazy bug is creeping in again, i shall leave this to the next blog entry.
to be honest, i'd never thought that i could feel as if the bones in me are going to give way but at the same time, still brimming with excitment and anticipation for the next day. (which probably explains why i only started to fall sick when i got back to singapore when all that activity and excitment died down:P)
i wont say that i've gone beyond my comfort zone though there's this thing about the words "comfort zone" that draws me to them. i realised that all my life, during each reflection time after a certain activity, i would mention how i have tested and gone beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone. but on second thoughts, it dawned upon me that i havent actually left my comfort zone all these while. i merely pushed at the boundaries, creating an even larger comfort zone for myself. and i like that. i prefer it actually. for me, it means that ive grown, and that i am more able now to identify and to reach out to an even larger group of people. to come out of my comfort zone gives me a adventurous vibe, something i envision myself to be(or rather wish that i could be). but it also means that im no longer myself. so no thank you. i pretty much like the way i am now:)besides, i dont think that im that strong to be able to survive outside what God made me capable to be :)
so wonderfully satisfying it had been, that on the last night, a fleeting sad feeling lingered in my mind for a while. as usual, i hate saying goodbyes. i really do not like inevitables. perhaps in all of our minds we had the same thought, though no one had to the heart to raise the issue. we all hate inevitables i guess. ha but pastor james(a nepali mission pastor)in one of his rare reflective moments said this to me. mornings are meaningless without nights. and in the same way, meetings are meaningless without partings. well, it's not something new, and perhaps almost tredding on the line of cheesy-ness, but i guess there are some times when cliches hit it right on the nail. at least it did for me on that day.
i have so much to say but sometimes words cant bring back the essence of the journey, of what made it all worthwhile and meaningful(esp if you arent a proficient writer ie me). but i have been having this simple question in my mind that made me decide to take up this challenge.
"will you go?"
ha, and with all simple questions, only simple answers are needed. i answered yes this time and was blessed with so much i never dreamed of(really!as cliche as it sounds:P) i dont know what the future holds, but i do know what my answer is going be when the opportunity arises in future. nothing's like experiencing it yourself. the great commission held little meaning to me before this and in fact, intimidated me quite a bit; nepal meant nothing but a country near tibet which i read about in my tintin comics..till this. till i learnt to stop navel gazing and start expanding my heart to accomodate people other than sammi and chiaki-sempai. people other than those i identify with in my original comfort zone. people whom God loved and wanted me to do the same:)
not that i had made that much of a difference during my stay there.(though i was quite a bit of a star when i was there which i will mention later:P) but well, simply because i have gleaned so much from this trip. i think i can rattle on and on forever and by the time im done, the only one who can understand this post is myself.so,to spare everyone the agony,i shall attempt to sum it all up in my list of top ten moments to remember, lest i suffer from amnesia(which i realise that i often do:P)but because the lazy bug is creeping in again, i shall leave this to the next blog entry.
to be honest, i'd never thought that i could feel as if the bones in me are going to give way but at the same time, still brimming with excitment and anticipation for the next day. (which probably explains why i only started to fall sick when i got back to singapore when all that activity and excitment died down:P)
i wont say that i've gone beyond my comfort zone though there's this thing about the words "comfort zone" that draws me to them. i realised that all my life, during each reflection time after a certain activity, i would mention how i have tested and gone beyond the boundaries of my comfort zone. but on second thoughts, it dawned upon me that i havent actually left my comfort zone all these while. i merely pushed at the boundaries, creating an even larger comfort zone for myself. and i like that. i prefer it actually. for me, it means that ive grown, and that i am more able now to identify and to reach out to an even larger group of people. to come out of my comfort zone gives me a adventurous vibe, something i envision myself to be(or rather wish that i could be). but it also means that im no longer myself. so no thank you. i pretty much like the way i am now:)besides, i dont think that im that strong to be able to survive outside what God made me capable to be :)
so wonderfully satisfying it had been, that on the last night, a fleeting sad feeling lingered in my mind for a while. as usual, i hate saying goodbyes. i really do not like inevitables. perhaps in all of our minds we had the same thought, though no one had to the heart to raise the issue. we all hate inevitables i guess. ha but pastor james(a nepali mission pastor)in one of his rare reflective moments said this to me. mornings are meaningless without nights. and in the same way, meetings are meaningless without partings. well, it's not something new, and perhaps almost tredding on the line of cheesy-ness, but i guess there are some times when cliches hit it right on the nail. at least it did for me on that day.
i have so much to say but sometimes words cant bring back the essence of the journey, of what made it all worthwhile and meaningful(esp if you arent a proficient writer ie me). but i have been having this simple question in my mind that made me decide to take up this challenge.
"will you go?"
ha, and with all simple questions, only simple answers are needed. i answered yes this time and was blessed with so much i never dreamed of(really!as cliche as it sounds:P) i dont know what the future holds, but i do know what my answer is going be when the opportunity arises in future. nothing's like experiencing it yourself. the great commission held little meaning to me before this and in fact, intimidated me quite a bit; nepal meant nothing but a country near tibet which i read about in my tintin comics..till this. till i learnt to stop navel gazing and start expanding my heart to accomodate people other than sammi and chiaki-sempai. people other than those i identify with in my original comfort zone. people whom God loved and wanted me to do the same:)
Comments