Skip to main content

new year resolution #1

i reckon that God really does have a sense of humour.
For a pretty extended period last year, i went through several struggles, wanting many things but not being able to get them for some reason or another. Tears, bouts of angst, impatience, all sorts of anger-filled reactions--ive probably went through a good half of them. unfortunately for me, they never really got about gathering much sympathy votes for me so at the end of the day, i was back at square one.
i thought then, that perhaps by surrendering my desires to God, to pray for help, perhaps He will give me what i cant achieve by my own efforts thus far.
Yet, instead of making things any better, He happily decided to make my wishes even harder to attain.
so it was bugging me for quite a while, how failures seem to overcome me more than ever when i turn to God for help.
but suddenly it's all clear.
perhaps having had so much more time at hand now, i have become more involved in the world that im slowly becoming of the world; many things that i desire and long for probably arent really the best for me, probably arent what God wants for me.
Sure, i definitely went through ALOT of disappointing moments because of this. ALOT of brokenness and despair, that at times i had no idea how i was ever going to get over it.
but, at least it works.
at least im out of that navel-gazing, self-pitying attitude for now. it's painful at first, but i know that time can heal all wounds and that God will always be there looking out for me.
and for now, at least i can accept these unfufilled wishes of mine whilst entering the new year with a peace,knowing that God never wastes a hurt.
this year, i need to learn to be less me and more for God and the people around me that i care for and love.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

i love physics.

every morning an endless battle ensues within me. the gravitational force that's tugging at me back into bed and the equally strong urgency derived from a pile of never ending work that's making me move towards my breakfast drawer. usually the one that requires me to travel the shortest distance ends up victorious. the bed of cos, which goes without saying. unless the force on the other end is simply too great a draw- a growling stomach maybe, but almost all the time, it's about work that's loading as if each piece were under the influence of gravity and the only way it could go is down onto me. sometimes i wish both forces work in the same direction.
Post a Comment
Read more

when words read a million times over but still never a bore.(unlike my exam notes that are boring me to tears)

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think it's so important that it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain." --Cecelia Ahern
Post a Comment
Read more

Mr perfect/miss imperfect

Instead of waiting for the perfect one, work at being the perfect one instead. These words roll off the tongue with ease like a familiar jingle. Yet the former holds an appeal tt the latter can never achieve.could it be, that at the end of the day, we are, in fact, more aware of reality than we realise? The former, perhaps, more achievable than the latter?
Post a Comment
Read more