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it's sad how we always get carried away looking at the bigger(and supposely more breathtaking) sights and miss the little things that are just as amazing. i took this picture at one of the blowholes(heh forgot where exactly) i visited 2 weeks ago. (i know it seems like a really long time ago, but then again u know how i love to procrasinate.)i love the rainbow formed whenever the blowhole goes into full force. it's so tiny u will most likely miss it if u dont pause to take a second look. but when u do, u start to appreciate how intricate nature can be. and the beauty of little surprises in life.

reminds me a lot about what im going through now. it's been so crazily busy,that i havent really got the time to stop, rest and think about the many wonderful things happening to me. it's barely the first week of school, but ive been so overwhelmed with the tons of projects that ive been tasked to do, so awed by the things im taught at uni now(which means i no longer get to press the calculator and get easy answers like i did for the past 14years of my life) and the really good drawings by my tutorial mates. but admist all these, ive learnt to see the tiny rainbow in each waterblast.

ive grown closer to a few originally "hi/bye" friends(with my whining of cos :P), ive learnt to be more confident through the many drawing lessons that ive been struggling through(and bit by bit my shoe drawing looks more like a shoe now:P), i've become a little more comfortable saying hi to random people and making friends out of everyone i meet in uni who happens to sit next to me or looks in my direction(ha ok exaggeration), i'm appreciating the fact that i finally get tann-er, i'm enjoying a cool breeze when i walk home after a long-drawn day at uni, and as sapped as i am, im learning to even look at the plants around me now and seeing how their many varieties contrast sharply with singapore's plain old raintrees and bougaenvillas (: haha do i sound ever so neerrdy in the last statement?

but really, if i were to get carried away with the big things that happen to me, i will be so overwhelmed now and whining to every single person i see(ha ok i still whine but jus not as much).

but when i pause to think, these little rainbows come back into my mind's eye and add so much colour that it's hard to find fault with the blowhole's blasts that without which,the rainbows wouldnt even have formed.

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Instead of waiting for the perfect one, work at being the perfect one instead. These words roll off the tongue with ease like a familiar jingle. Yet the former holds an appeal tt the latter can never achieve.could it be, that at the end of the day, we are, in fact, more aware of reality than we realise? The former, perhaps, more achievable than the latter?
i speak before i think, but really what that reveals is the person i am inside. the thoughts and desires are all too apparent. i want recognition, i want people to look at me w envy at my skill and what I have, I want things that I know are wrong to want but i still want them. but the heart cant hide forever. it comes out at the most unopportune time and i end up hurting the ones i love the most. oh wait, maybe not, cos i really love myself the most, which.. really means i hurt those i cant love as much as i love me. :(

one reason why i love my pastor.

says my pastor on proverbs 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." "so guys, before you decide to go out with a girl, take a look at her grandmother first." of which my friend promptly said to me, "shawna,we have hope now!" :)