life's mean reds.

what is it like to work so hard at keeping something but to no avail,and when you decide to give it up,it comes back to you in almost the next instant? anger?and so you'd treat it with a cold nonchalence and indifference, indignant that you had to suffer before. anger? because you deserved better? or a leap of joy? perhaps it wasnt all in vain? and you treat it with such gentle care, afraid that the moment is lost forever, just in case you hadnt paid enough attention. but to allow one's hopes to soar high, is really just as good as bracing oneself for the time that inevitable crash comes. only perhaps, no one is really ever ready when that time comes.

despite a strange void in my heart, im still really glad to be home (:

Journey It's a long long journey Till I know where I'm supposed to be It's a long long journey And I don't know if I can believe When shadows fall and block my eyes I am lost and know that I must hide It's a long long journey Till I find my way home to you Many days I've spent Drifting on through empty shores Wondering what's my purpose Wondering how to make me strong I know I will falter I know I will cry I know you'll be standing by my side It's a long long journey And I need to be close to you Sometimes it feels no one understands I don't even know why I do the things I do When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul Will you break down these walls and pull me through Cause It's a long long journey Till I feel that I am worth the price You paid for me on calvary Beneath those stormy skies When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes It feels like everything is out to make me lose control It's a long long journey Till I find my way...

"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think it's so important that it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain." --Cecelia Ahern

on many counts, in many ways, sometimes i wish i wished less.

im amazed yet again by the little things in life that really arent that insignificant when you ponder deeper.i like it how God has created us so different from another.not jus physically of course, but emotionally really. given the same picture, the same text, the same scenario,different people will pick out different meanings.different phrases.different actions. to me it's more than a consequence of your character and personality. its life in general. what matters to you.what experiences that have left an indelible mark on you.what you currently long for and struggle with. ive always lived with the awareness of how unique one individual is from another, but seeing it from another point of view, it emphasizes the fact that this life itself has many ways to be lived and experienced. perhaps it's with this knowledge that leaves me wondering if i have truly been living my life to the fullest.

If you haven't been to lindt café in Sydney, you don't know what you've been missing. Okay I look terribly greedy hey? Ha but honestly, it's the best chocolate I have tasted.ever. the drinks were especially good.the thickness, richness and the lingering aftertaste just leaves you craving for more. And you thought I would get super sick with all that choc but surprisingly I didn't:/ im so going to grow fat; to get our money's worth, we (boon kahmun and i) bought the entire cake(so singaporean right!haha) and there's still more than half left! Boon and kahmun reckons tt if the cake stays with me, I would finish it all by tonight so boon took it back to protect it from my vociferous appetite for junk like this>.

if there was one moment in these 4 months that ive been in Sydney that best epitomizes what it means to heave a sigh of relief, this is it. as if the semester hadnt been crazy enough, the past week was absolutely draining. exactly one week ago i was rushing to complete an assignment due the next day-- worked on it all through the night till 440pm the next day, then rushing down to school in my most unglam outfit(i was in my pjs that's how bad it was) in bid to submit it by the 5pm dateline. had to start working on the group design project on friday; so there i was cutting foam core till 4am in my room that currently looks like a dumpster. sat, spent the entire day at uni till 2 am working on models with the group; sun, took a break and went for church though i ended up sleeping at 4am because i had to work on my individual sketchbook. monday was the queen's birthday and also the first time i spent the entire night in uni, working on the project. what a way to commemorate this d...

i dont even know why im doing this when i just happened to be laughing at people who did things like this (but i shall leave that for later). so just because it's technically the last day of the semester (though work doesnt stop there for some strange reason), just because i decided to take a break and revive my poor blog and just because it was jo who asked me to,so ha, here goes... 1. people who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. (can i change all?:D) 2. tag 8 people to do this list (jo you only tagged one!>. #1. if your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be? i'll let you know when i have one; and one who will betray me at that. #2. if you have a dream come true, what would it be? to have a takuya kimura looking bf. haha nah jus kidding. hm.well, to bring joy to whoever who comes my way?and ya. world peace.HA. #3. if you could be at one place right now, what ...