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i would never be satisfied if i don't have jesus in and with me.

ive been getting so carried away going the extra mile for friends, making presents to the extent that i know deep down, part of me does it for approval and praises. because that's just me; praises, the sense that im valued and special in someone's eyes are what make me feel good--and let's admit it, i do crave for it (alot). Yet, funnily, more praises and words of gratitude doesn't always translate to me being a happier person. the more i have, the more i want. but if i receive none, or criticsms for that matter, i get all depressed, making a mountain out of a mole hill over what a tragic life i have. so either way, it doesnt work out. esp true when my focus is completely off God and i navelgaze. it's like a vicious cycle-- i forget about God, work so hard to please people around me, then get so busy that i forget God again.and so on. i need to trade my list of desires and ambitions for God's list. My little goals for His jaw dropping promises. My teaspoon of dreams for His ocean of purposes. I need to surrender it all to jesus and return to the heart of worship. it's hard for a prideful person like me, but im gonna try. He means everything to me, and it's time i start showing it. you dont treat someone you love but putting him in the backseat. godliness and contentment is great gain. 1timothy 6:6

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