life's mean reds.

i find it really ironic how amidst the seemingly impressive achievements we have in life, amidst our busy lives that we spend jetting about the world, we never seem to move far off from where our journey on earth began. press the fast forward button and one will see that when our time is up, we merely move from a floor in the hospital to another. from the baby department to the mortuary on the next level. it trivialises our time on earth so much to the verge of it being meaningless. it's really ironic that even though God created the world for us humans, at the end of the day, it's the world that stays and keeps rotating on its axis while we die. i wish i could say im just being pessimistic, but i guess that's just one of the many cruel realities about life.

something really sweet i read from my friend's blog. Hold My Hand A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was feeling worried so he asked his little daughter, "Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand." "What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father. "There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me,chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go ." i am reminded yet again of how blessed i am to have friends (and parents of course:)) to hold my hand despite my all. and, most definitely, through it all.

today was graduation day at school. somehow seeing those students in their graduation gowns welled up a sense of wistfulness in me. The cliche that time waits for no man is an understatement. but more significantly, what bothered me the most was this: would i be able to look back to my life and say proudly that ive run a good race and fought a good fight to the end? or would i end up finding some lame justification for a starkingly obvious failure that i refuse to admit i am? it's so easy to lose focus along the way, especially when you are having a whale of a time. it's so easy to procrasinate and wake up at 11 in the morning because everyone's doing that anyway. it's so easy to get carried away wanting to engage my life so that i don't lose any minute of my short time in sydney away. it's so easy to lead a life that only one person matters--myself. it's about time i start remembering that while my work and toil on earth may not have eternal rewards or impa

mum! pictures as i promised (: if i can sum this camp up in one word, it will be AWESOME:) i would love to blog more about my exciting experience but i shall leave that for the next week. for now, pictures to tell the thousand words and more that im bursting to share about:) ps sorry the pictures are so tiny.i had to combine them on photoshop so that when i uploaded them they wont use too much of my internet.well you could jus click on the pictures to get a closeup..heeheee.

i am ever more convinced today that i should never attempt to cook. and now it will just make my search for the perfect guy an even tougher one--a takuya kimura who can cook.haha okay but i was really just kidding. anyway back to my story. i got tired of eating cold dinners and decided that i would quit being lazy for once and cook a meal.after all, today's the last day of school and i could afford to spend time cooking a proper meal. wrong call. check out my dinner.or rather, what's left of it.ha. i think if it were not for my housemate, i would have been the person to set off the fire alarm in my hostel the fourth time this week, and consequently, the one everyone will be giving dagger stares to:/ i ended up spending an ENTIRE hour(and more) trying to remove all the burnt marks(that's like 4 times the time taken for the microwave to kill my dinner.) thankfully i managed to salvage my new bowl.only thing that it's already 9.30pm and i have not packed for my church camp

it's the THIRD time this week that the fire alarm at my hostel has went off. the first time i heard, some girl frying an egg decided to go bathe whilst waiting for the egg to cook.(which coming from a person who knows zilch about cooking, already seems like a dumb thing to do, but oh wells.)i couldnt be bothered to find out what happened the second time, and when the third one went off 2 hours ago, i was actually contemplating if i should even bother heading down.ahah.imagine if it was actually a real fire. haha but im just more amused than irritated. my housemate and i actually came up with an excellent escape plan that involved throwing a mattress out of the window and jumping down.pretty exciting.haha(okay cheapthrill:/explains how sick i am of reading notes that doesnt seem to stay in my head where they belong) heh. and now instead of filling my thoughts with cornelia oberlander, the amazingly calm sounding alarm repeats incessantly in my mind. "emergency, emergency. evacu

someone please take my laptop away from me so that i will stop getting distracted and start getting some work done :(:( boos.i was just kidding btw. i was so depressed when my laptop crashed last week, i dont think i can stand the same sort of sick joke again. but im not kidding about needing to mug.im the ulimate procrasinator:(

people who know me best probably would have known how much i hate it when i oversleep.it has this strange sort of domino effect on my day and everything just ends up in shambles at the end of it all. it's really a bad emotional habit of mine that im learning to change and to try to entrust every single day to God(despite and in spite of the fact that things dont go the way i planned them to) but yeah, so i was really surprised that today wasnt as bad as i had imagined it to be:) i was supposed to head down for ocf's first bible study at 10 but guess what, i kept snoozing my alarm clock and i guess somewhere along the way, i accidentally pressed the button to switch it off. i ended up waking at 11 instead(am i a pig or what) and realised that the guys were waiting for me for the past half an hour and consequently caused the bible study to start half an hour late:/ gosh i still feel super apologetic and guilty about it. but anyway, on with my story, since i couldnt make it for oc

gosh i fell into that neoprint secondary school craze trap again! haha but i will secretly admit that i had fun (: hee. Note 1: The library is no longer my favourite hangout place.after the last time i brought my laptop to school to upload pictures and watch videos, i was banned from entering the wireless system again because they found out that i "committed copyright infringement or had downloaded large amounts of data that were not related to my work/studies". boos. so the poor international student here is left to using her 2gb for 29bucks internet to blog. Note 2: im no longer banned.just too scared to take the risk again.HAHA. okay last entry for today--i have to get back to my font size 6 landscape readings which i essentially dont understand half of it.gahhhh.

it's sad how we always get carried away looking at the bigger(and supposely more breathtaking) sights and miss the little things that are just as amazing. i took this picture at one of the blowholes(heh forgot where exactly) i visited 2 weeks ago. (i know it seems like a really long time ago, but then again u know how i love to procrasinate.)i love the rainbow formed whenever the blowhole goes into full force. it's so tiny u will most likely miss it if u dont pause to take a second look. but when u do, u start to appreciate how intricate nature can be. and the beauty of little surprises in life. reminds me a lot about what im going through now. it's been so crazily busy,that i havent really got the time to stop, rest and think about the many wonderful things happening to me. it's barely the first week of school, but ive been so overwhelmed with the tons of projects that ive been tasked to do, so awed by the things im taught at uni now(which means i no longer get to pres

i love this picture. somewhere along the way, i felt like i was the subject in the photo. having had climbed up that flight of stairs, having had headed for the summit, i thought that i would now have a clearer picture of where's life taking me. i would be able to look down and have a bird's eye view of my dreams, aspirations and perhaps even a glimpse into what my future may be like. but i guess not. im finally living out my dream of pursuing my passion in an overseas university, but i havent got a clue of what to expect, of what i intend to do next. i feel lost with towering buildings and situations overwhelming me; loneliness too, admist the strangers that past me by with a mere hi/bye. i sit at the top of the flight of stairs ive climbed just so i can clear my perplexed mind; a depressing atmosphere threatening to envelop me like the thundering clouds above. but im saying all this not because i wish someone would sympathsize with me(well, ha,okay.MAYBE a little.) but really

i decided to hangout at the library today despite the fact that most of the freshies should be out there in the sun participating in more happening events.ohwells. im not really bothered though. im glad to be enjoying my free aircon, and more importantly, free INTERNET. gosh. you wouldnt know how pleased im feeling now unless u suffer the same fate as me as a poor interntional student staying in a hostel and therefore having to settle for slower speed internet called mobile broadband at a ridiculously expensive price. so yes (: finally, i am able to upload pictures without having to worry incessantly all the time if i may exceed my 2gb worth of downloads per month limit (: so here's to the start of shawna turning into a nerdie geek with her favourite hangout being the library.ha.should i add that i have also collected my lecture notes and started on my first readings?ha i feel embarrassed just typing that here.but oh wells. but thats really what you end up doing when there's li