i never enjoyed taking photographs for the simple reason that i am vain.so you can guess what a terribly tiring process it is for me to pose for a picture after having to making sure that im on the right side(ie the more photogentic side of my face), my fat thighs are nicely hidden by a cushion of some sort, i mustnt just have had my hair cut(cos for some reason it is ALWAYS screwed up after i return from the hairdresser) and the list goes on. and when i finally get down to take the picture, it's down to another long process. (no thanks to technology) ha, yes cos with the digital camera (see im not prehistoric k!), i can go on forever like this. take a picture, run to the cameraman, look at the picture just taken, scruntinised every part of my body, then go something like this "ahh! my hair is so messy!" or "ahh, can see my double chin!" or "cannot cannot, this one can see my pimple and my eyes are closed!" haha yes, you get the idea. then, yes, no prizes for guessing, i insist on deleting the previous one and taking a new one, or maybe two...till im satisified. see. it's annoying i know but im a perfectionist(ok, in this area at least, though my mum claims that taking so many pictures isnt going to change anything cos uhm. it has to do with the model(me):/ bah. whatever.)
but yes. it came to my mind a while ago when i was rotting in the car while waiting for my mum. that well, sometimes if we just let go and be natural, give the ugliest, pimply faces who cares,well, that's the real you and IM SURE people will still love you for it. i mean, all you need is the confidence to love yourself the way you are made, and people will respect you for it. it's hard for me, but im learning. learning to see myself not in my own eyes but in God's eyes. learning to realised that it's more important to see myself through my creator, the one who affirms my existence and worth. the one who loves me so much that he knows the number of hairstrands i have. the one who knew me before i was formed in my mother's womb. the one who promises that im special and unique in his eyes. the one who died for me. it's like we are little comic drawings and he is the artist. drawings dont decide if they are useful to the story, they dont decide if they are pretty. the artist does the defining. so yes, to prove that im really learning, i took a series of ugly shots of myself. (partly out of boredom after rotting so long in the car) but yes. laugh all you want. cos i know im fearfully and wonderfully made and nothing else should matter to me (:
(thankfully the photo is small so my pimples cant be seen yay!(: --okay it takes a little while for me to change for good yahh.)
but yes. it came to my mind a while ago when i was rotting in the car while waiting for my mum. that well, sometimes if we just let go and be natural, give the ugliest, pimply faces who cares,well, that's the real you and IM SURE people will still love you for it. i mean, all you need is the confidence to love yourself the way you are made, and people will respect you for it. it's hard for me, but im learning. learning to see myself not in my own eyes but in God's eyes. learning to realised that it's more important to see myself through my creator, the one who affirms my existence and worth. the one who loves me so much that he knows the number of hairstrands i have. the one who knew me before i was formed in my mother's womb. the one who promises that im special and unique in his eyes. the one who died for me. it's like we are little comic drawings and he is the artist. drawings dont decide if they are useful to the story, they dont decide if they are pretty. the artist does the defining. so yes, to prove that im really learning, i took a series of ugly shots of myself. (partly out of boredom after rotting so long in the car) but yes. laugh all you want. cos i know im fearfully and wonderfully made and nothing else should matter to me (:
(thankfully the photo is small so my pimples cant be seen yay!(: --okay it takes a little while for me to change for good yahh.)
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